Some Closure, Some Overtures

June 26, Portland, Ore -- Today I signed the papers on the house; it should close Friday so that's one more step in divesting myself of my prevous life. Yesterday I met my brother from Yakima and my brother from Vancouver. We had lunch together and then Tom and Mike moved a couple couches to Vancouver, one for Tom and one for Karl. Then Mike and his wife Shan took the dining room table and chairs to Yakima. My brother Mike has always made me laugh. He is a real card! But I'm happy to see him married to a good woman. He and Shan have developed an admirable faith in God and it's interesting to talk to them about their spiritual experiences. I think God speaks to us whereever we are and in whatever voice we will listen to.

I had made plans to meet my new friend Steve (we had breakfast on Thursday, went to a move Saturday afternoon) and he was there when we got back from lunch. Steve and I went east up the Gorge to Hood River. We visited a couple fruit stands and bought some cherries. It was a beautiful day -- so fun to be off messing around on a Monday. I love it!! You know Monday always has the best weather of the week, don't you? We stopped at a little winery and bought a very nice bottle of pinot gris. The Hood River Valley east through The Dalles and North to Troutlake/Glenwood has a developing viticulture and it's own area designation. Because of the variety of climates in this area a number of grapes are very successfully grown.

Then we headed across the Hood River bridge and went back west to Skamania Lodge. We just sat and talked and looked at the beauty around us. We both managed to get a little sunburned. We ended the day by driving back across the Bridge of the Gods and then sat in a park in Cascade Locks, looking at the water, drinking wine, nibbling on the picnic lunch Steve had packed and laughing. Our conversation ranged from deep philosophical/spiritual issues, to practical backgrounds, future hopes and dreams and I can't remember when I've laughed so much in just a short amount of time. We had a great day. We have a lot in common. He lost his wife 6 years ago. We're both Catholics and both searching for where God wants us. Both pretty grounded in Jesuit spirituality. We certainly don't agree on everything but have had some amazing conversations for people who have only known each other a few days. It was fun to have a companion in "goofing off." Our culture has such a need to be productive, to always be doing something, that we never take the time to sit back and look at the beauty around us and give thanks for that. If we're always so busy taking care of stuff "out there," we never take the time to take care of stuff inside, and that is some of the most intimidating, scary but important work we can ever do. Because until we take the time to find our true selves, how can we possibly figure out what God wants for us?

I'm continuing to read my book by Sue Monk Kidd, but also picked up several books today by and on Thomas Merton, by Teresa of Avila, and by Thomas Keating. Now I have GOT to read these and the other books I have collected.

As I was in the bookstore I came to the sure realization of what I want to do. And I've known this in various ways and levels, but today it became more crystalized. I want to write. I want to somehow bring people closer to God, help them see the grace and gift in their lives, help them see the beauty Godhas given us -- not just in the mountains and trees and flowers, but in the children playing, the elderly couple walking hand in hand, the mother nursing her child, even the beauty of saying goodbye. There is so much beauty around us that we fail to see. And God is in all of it. This writing could be in non-fiction, essays, fiction, poems. Maybe I'll write new psalsm. I don't really know yet. I just know it's a big part of what I see for my next few years.

Now this doens't mean this is ALL I want to do. Because in order to write, you must have inspiration. And inspiration comes from living, taking time to see God speaking to us through the everyday. So the travels are surely part of it. But not all of it. I could still return to work but whether paid or volunteer it will have to have meaning and grace or it won't be worth doing. I am blessed to not have to worry about earning money. I am not wealthy by any stretch, but money only matters to me in providing necessities: food, shelter, and an occasional gin and tonic or glass of wine; and the opportunities to experience God through other people, places, experiences. My kids are grown and on their own. I have health insurance (thank God!) and as long as I can keep propane and diesel in the tanks, I have a lot of flexibility. (I'm SO excited to see gas and diesel prices dropping a bit!) I've only traveled First Class a couple times and while I like it, as long as I can afford a "cheap seat," I still get to see the game.

So my week in Portland is coming close to an end. Today in addition to signing my papers, I had a pedicure and caught up with the lady who does the best pedicures in Portland (not that I've tried EVERYone but just in my experience), caught up with a friend I used to write with at The Oregonian who is now Development Director for a large non-profit that feeds the hungry, had coffee with my new friend Steve (FINALLY, a man smart enough to appreciate me!!), and then came home to turn on the air conditioners for poor Charlie. He's lying here enjoying the cool and my company, contented as he usually is. There is a gift in being able to see your dog just lying happily at your feet. I should vacuum but it would disturb him so maybe I'll read instead.
TravelinLady