Northern California Coastin into Oregon

July 13, Redwood Trails, Calif. -- Okay, it’s Friday the 13th. Good thing I don’t get nervous about those kinds of things. Last week it was 7/07/07 so if you’re into lucky numbers, that should counter one lousy little Friday the 13th. I am in a privately owned campground on the No. Calif. coast. Redwood Country. I went from Gold Country to Olive Country to Redwood Country. It’s cool here but sunny this morning. Blessings after the high heat last week in the valleys and even in the Sierra. I did some housecleaning yesterday after arriving. That’s so when I take Charlie to the beach later he can spread sand everywhere again.

I’ve been listening to a new selection of cds, including Jackson Browne, The Eagles, James Taylor, the lovely Mary Black (thanks to my dear friend Katie), among others. I guess I’ve never really taken the time to listen to some of the words of these songs I know so well, and there are songs in this selection I don’t know. I’m particularly captivated by Jackson Browne’s Rebel Jesus. It’s more of a Christmas song, but the message is very thought-provoking. Jesus was a bit of a rebel, I guess, though not in the ways we think of one. He didn’t go out and fight the establishment but he did fight against the status quo, the comfortable places we so easily slip into, thinking we’re doing good things when we drop a $5 bill in the collection basket or donate a couple cans of pork and beans or chicken noodle soup to St. Vincent de Paul.

This whole thing of prayer versus works keeps coming up for me. Yes it is very important to try to change the world and bring justice to those who suffer. Yes, it is very important to spend time in prayer and reflection because we can’t possibly change this world without God’s help. By searching our own hearts and souls, we are better able to see where God wants us and what our role in change is. It can be as simple as saying something kind to someone who needs to hear it. It’s amazing to me how ungrateful and unkind people can be, and yet we all very much need to be loved and appreciated.

I used to be reluctant to discuss my faith with others. But on this journey I am making a point to give God credit, to talk about why I am doing this (to the best of my knowledge), to be kind and forgiving. The incident from last week with Mr. Mobile Mechanic comes to mind. Could I have handled him differently? Instead of going toe-to-toe in anger, could I have tried to be more understanding? Yes, he was missing out on a paid repair, even though I hadn’t called him or asked the shop to call him. Maybe he needed that money to pay his rent. My own negative thoughts would say that he needed it to buy more beer, but I don’t like those negative thoughts; I don’t think they are part of the true me. I think they are based on experiences and hearsay evidence that make me cynical. Cynicism is NOT a gift from God. It is the sign of a tired old heart that is forgetting how to be a child and accept things at face value, as true, as good.

Tomorrow I will drive north back into Oregon. I was thinking about this yesterday. I was born in Idaho, lived most of my life to age 28 in Washington. But I feel like an Oregonian. Oregon feels like home to me. My family is scattered, but my friends are in Portland, primarily. I miss them when I’m not there. I have given some thought to my residency because if I stay in Oregon I have to pay state income tax on my retirement funds. I’d prefer not to, especially when/if I’m not living in one place. At the same time, I am very connected to Oregon from my work for Senator Smith, my contacts and friends in government agencies in Oregon. I have tried not to care, to pull myself out of that life -- and I don’t read papers or watch the news so to that extent I have succeeded. But I still care. I still want Senator Smith to be reelected because I truly believe he is a wonderful person who cares very much about Oregon. I care what will happen with the Portland Public Schools now that they are looking for a new superintendent to replace the very-promising Vicki Phillips. I know how hard this has been on my friends who work for the District. I care what happens with Portland, with Oregon. It seems strange not to be following the state legislature; I assume they’ve wrapped it up by now.

So where is all this leading me? No clue!

Steve is planning to drive down to Florence where I’ll be staying for a few days. It’s maybe an hour north of Coos Bay but it’s one of my Thousand Trails places so is free. I will introduce him to Kristin and Ryan. I’ve met his daughter and several of his friends, so he can go through my gauntlet a bit now. His friend we went fishing with last week in Central Oregon also has a place near Winchester Bay (Reedsport) and he may stop and visit with Ray. I still don’t know where this relationship is heading. On the one hand I would very much like a man in my life and have prayed about that and sought that. This is a good guy; a very good guy. But I am still determined to follow this journey for awhile longer. So that complicates things. But who knows. Three weeks ago I wouldn’t have even considered him as part of the equation that makes up my life. Now he’s the big X, the unknown factor. Is this something God wants? If so, it will happen in God’s time and it will become clear to both of us, I think. And it will wait until I am finished with what I need to do. So for now it’s important to keep waiting, praying.

I think I will wait the next hour or so on a trailride. There are horses for rent here so I’m going to go put on my jeans and new cowboy boots and go rent a horse for a ride. BarbUS, I’ll be thinking of you and wishing you were here with me so we could ride together!

TravelinLady