A Must See in the Empire State

Niagara Falls, NY and Ontario, August 30 -- Wow what a way to close out my birthday month -- with a beautiful view of these beautiful falls! I splurged on a tour and we spent four hours looking at different sites here at the falls area. Heard lots of falls lore, including that the first person to go over the falls in a barrel was a 62-year-old school teacher who did the stunt to try to earn money for her retirement. She apparently took her cat with her -- the idea of going over the falls is stupid enough, but taking a CAT with you?! Certifiable.

There were seven people on the tour, including a very cute couple from Israel who are here for their honeymoon. They will be in the US for 45 days and their whirlwind tour will include Orlando, the Caribbean, California, Mexico and Hawaii. And those are only the places I can remember. They must pay well and give lots of vacation time in Israel. He took the picture of me at the falls. People from all over the world -- by the look of them and the wide variety of languages I heard -- visit the falls. Lucky for me it was a Thursday and was pretty quiet. I'm sure this weekend it will be a zoo!

So once again I'm glad I spent the time and money to do this. Both were well spent. Charlie didn't like me leaving him for almost five hours, but he'll survive.

I had a pretty successful day. I booked a week in Maine and two weeks in Massachusetts at Thousand Trails preserves. I decided to fly to Portland out of Boston -- Alaska has direct flights from Boston so that will work well and I'll get FF miles for it, too. The preserve I'm staying at is about 50 miles from Logan Intl. and I can catch a train fairly close to them. I should be able to leave my Mo right there -- either in a camping spot or in their storage area. The only problem now is figuring out what to do with Charlie and figuring out where I will stay while I'm in Portland. So I booked a ticket flying out of Logan on Oct. 3 and returning on Oct. 9. That way I'll miss less than a week of fall color and still be in New England. This preseve is also quite close to Cape Cod so I should be able to visit that area. Last time I was in Boston (87) John and I only got as far south as Plymouth. A friend who worked down the hall from me is from the East Coast and her mom is somewhere in Massachusetts. She told me last spring she thought her mom would be glad to take Charlie so that's one option to look into. (Sue, if you're reading this, get in touch with me!!). Other option is there are apparently a number of vets in the area that board pets.

I also contacted my insurance company to see if my insurance will cover the cost of replacing the inverter. They are supposed to get back to me. That would be nice! I hate taking money out of my savings (my house proceeds which I will need later when I decide where to settle) for things like that.


I LOVE having wifi right in my Mo -- which I have here because I am close enough to the lodge. It really helps me be organized and get things accomplished.

The one thing I didn't get accomplished today was find a grocery store so I'm pretty short on food here in the Mo. I'll have to open a can of soup or scramble some eggs or something. The farm stand was closed when I came back by so no fresh corn. And I'm out of milk so no latte tomorrow morning. Dang!

Tomorrow I meet up with Geri and will have a chance to do some shopping and maybe even some laundry!! Yippee! Amazing how simple our pleasures can be when we have been without such things for awhile.

TravelinLady

I’m in a New York State of Mind

Cambria (just west of Niagara Falls), NY, August 29 -- What an interesting -- and sometimes harrowing -- day!! Charlie and I left Michigan around 11:30 and then drove for several hours -- via Ontario -- to get here. We seemed to be in another world. The miles seemed to fly by -- oh wait! They were kilometers so of course they flew by. Converting mph to kph is interesting: 100 kilos is approximately 63-64 miles, 80 kph is about 50 mph -- so between 5/8ths and 2/3rds I think. In fact, we covered so many kilos we could have been on a world tour. We drove over the Thames River into London, past Melbourne and St. Thomas and Stratford and Avon and other similar places. At least the Canadians have a sense of humor: naming a river outside of London, Ont., the Thames. Made ME chuckle. Having just come from Minnesota, Wisconsin and Michigan where so many names have Native American origins or roots it was a bit odd to find all these -burgs and -hams and things so veddy British.

One big thing I noticed is that just about EVERY exit had signs for golf courses, sometimes two or three. I am NOT kidding. I've never seen so many golf courses.

Charlie was very disappointed that there were absolutely NO rest stops between Michigan and New York. We ended up pulling off and finding a WalMart to park in so he could at least mark Ontario as part of his territory. So far he’s got quite an impressive list. In spite of the lack of rest stops, the roads were among the best I’ve been on yet.

I was disappointed that my atlases weren’t as helpful as I would have liked and since I had no place to pull over (no rest stops) I had to try to read the maps while driving. Tricky! London and Hamilton are really quite large: London was about 250,000 population and Hamilton close to half-a-million. But wait -- how does that convert from the metric system?? . . . kidding. I managed to get through lots of traffic and found my way to Niagara Falls and then across the bridge into the good old USA again. Coming through the port of entry was a bit scary, too. The slots are SOOOO narrow. I ended up bumping my passenger side mirror on one of their overhead lights or cameras or something. Thank God they didn’t arrest me as a terrorist or anarchist or crazy woman. They were actually quite kind and helpful and I thanked them profusely for the work they do protecting our borders (of course, I also mentioned my previous employer).

So we managed to park the rv without further incident and are here for two nights. I will either get a tour or drive the car back to Ontario and the Falls. They are impressive and not to be missed if you are ever in this area. Pictures on the next post! Promise. Just before getting to the rv park, we drove past a little produce stand so once we got all set up here, I drove back and bought a fresh ear of corn, some new potatoes and peaches and a pretty pot of flowers for my Mo. Nice, and all for only $12. Yummy dinner but I am going to have to find a grocery store soon as I’m running out of food -- meat in particular. Tonight I had to settle for a hotdog.

No great, impressive thoughts today as my mind was kept quite busy just keeping track of the kilo conversions and all the traffic.

Till tomorrow, then . . .
TravelinLady

On the Edge

St. Claire, MI, Aug. 28 -- I find myself today on the edge of lake Erie, on the edge of the country (crossing into Ontario, Canada, on Weds.), on the edge of more adventures in NY (Niagara Falls, Upstate, whatever), and probably on the edge of insanity according to some people. No matter; onward and eastward.

What IS it with these thunderstorms? Last night and this morning there was a good, rousing storm with plenty of rain. I understand this area needs rain and I guess I should be glad to be the bringer of good news -- since this weather seems to be stalking me -- but it sure was nice to drive south into the heart of Michigan and out of the rain. According to the book I’m reading by Thomas Merton, I should be thankful that God’s will for me is storms. Rain, wind, thunder and lightening. I’m not sure this contemplation stuff works for me; maybe I’ll just stick with Ignatian spirituality,

So after contemplating other drivers, there are a couple things that just drive me crazy and I would like to remind all my friends and readers NOT to do them. The first thing is, if you have cruise control, use it! It is so frustrating to be following someone who’s just dawdling along and then, as soon as I get in the left lane to pass, they decide they need to speed it up, and it’s a race. So usually I just drop back and into the right lane again. Fool me once and that’s acceptable; the second time it happens I am likely to put the pedal to the medal and leave you in the dust. The second thing is people who pull out in front of me or cut me off. Folks, I am driving a very large piece of machinery and it just doesn’t stop on a dime. If you pull in front of me and make me slam on my brakes, expect to hear from my friend, Mr. Air Horn. Please be considerate and don’t do these things to other people with big rigs. One more if I’m permitted: if you are not a truck or pulling a trailer, don’t go into the truck parking side at rest stops. Sometimes the slots are full because of people who wanted to play at being truckdrivers. Leave those big spaces for the big rigs, PLEASE!

Okay, glad I got that off my chest!

Now I think I owe you a followup on pasties. The one I had was similar to a calzone. It was nice, flakey pastry/piecrust folded in half over filling and sealed. The filling is usually meat and vegetables and this one was beef -- quite chewy little pieces of beef -- with very small cubes of potato, carrot shreddings and a little onion. People here often eat them with gravy and I can see why; they are quite dry. I tried adding ranch dressing, catsup and salsa. The catsup was probably the best choice of the three but maybe the gravy would have been better. Lots of calories undoubtedly for not that much gastronomic satisfaction.

I changed out my music selection last night and now have several John Denver and Mary Chapin Carpenter cds, among others. Nice change. I had forgotten how much I like John Denver’s music. Even if he was a little flakey, some of his music has great messages. In fact, it’s interesting to listen closely to the words of alot of music; God definitely has a place there. Speaking of music, last night I was playing around with some of my photos and decided to create a slide show using many of my sunset pictures. Then I added the music that Sarah and Jeanette and I recorded -- the song we almost always closed the contemplative masses we sang with: Compline Hymn. I like it! My first music video, teehee!

Sitting in my command post driving the Mo and listening to music gives me lots of time to reflect on the words. So many love songs: sad songs, joyful songs, confused songs. Listening to songs that declare undying love for someone makes me think that might be what we all are striving for: someone to love us forever, treasure us, almost worship us. They remind me of how well loved I was by John. That constant, self-sacrificing love is truly a special love and even though there can be complications and difficulties when people live their lives together, nevertheless, knowing I was so well loved is a gift. It seems alot to expect that I would ever find that again, and find someone I could love in that way. Thinking about it today I know it will be almost miraculous for me to find that. So short of a miracle, I am willing to remain single if that is how my life turns out. Being single doesn’t mean being alone or lonely -- at least not all the time. And sometimes you can be very lonely and alone when you have a life partner. But given my choice, I would prefer to find someone wonderful to spend the rest of my life with.

Of course, I have Charlie; but he’s such a Dog!! If I remind myself often enough of how very much God loves me -- more than any human ever could -- that mitigates the pain of being alone some. I pray that it will be enough if that is, indeed, what God calls me to for the rest of my life. But that’s part of what this journey is for; to try to figure some of this stuff out.

It is perplexing to me to figure out how to really know and love God-within-us and still be able to love and give fully to another human. I guess that is why so many of the saints and doctors of the church remained single; loving God seems like it could be an all-consuming ministry and mission and life. It is good to know that God is in control of all of this. I would hate for me to be control!

Tomorrow -- New York!

TravelinLady

By the Shores of Gitche Gumee

St. Ignace, MI, Aug. 27 -- Charlie and I were both disappointed when we drove through Hiawatha National Forest in the northern peninsula of Michigan yesterday. As a child I remember hearing Longfellow’s poem of the Indiann hero. He must have been Ojibwa or Huron or Ottawa, all part of the Algonquin Nation, I think. I spent a little time today in the Museum of Ojibwa Culture, which is in the old mission church founded by Fr. Marquette, a good Jesuit, of course. He named the town St. Ignace (“Igness”) for Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuit order (for those of you who might not know it). At any rate, the trees in this national forest are nothing like those in the Northwest; they are pretty stunted and sparse; it looks like scrubland rather than forest.

But lakes! Lakes they know how to do here. I drove for a good 6-7 hours yesterday and probably covered less than 1/4 of the perimeter of Lake Michigan. After visiting the museum this morning, I caught the ferry to Mackinac Island (it’s pronounced Mackinaw) and spent several hours there. In addition to the ferry ride, which was about $20 roundtrip, I also treated myself to a carriage tour. The drivers provide lots of information about the history of this island, which prohibits vehicles other than bicycles, horse-drawn carriages and golf carts on the Grand Hotel’s course. I love horses but these big Percherons were so odiferous it was hard to breathe at times. I guess I prefer to be on top of them rather than behind them.

The Grand Hotel, which is pictured above, is impressive from a distance. Its 380 rooms and 660-foot-long front porch dominate the view as you cruise into the harbor. I did not tour the building itself because apparently they charge $12 just to walk on the porch. Seemed way too glitzy for me, anyway. Everything seems to be about money here -- there are fees for just about everything. Except the many fudge shops will give away miniscule samples of things like strawberry fudge, maple nut, pistachio, and plain old chocolate. I spent about $75 on my tours and lunch -- and had a couple miniscule fudge samples. That’s way more than I would normally spend in a day for anything besides fuel.

Mackinac Island is impressive, though, and I’m glad I did it. There are some beautiful old buildings and a lot of history here with the French fur traders along with Fr. Marquette and the Jesuits, the British, the Americans, the war of 1812. The Fort traded hands several times. Astor had a large facility here and was a leader in the fur trading industry, bringing in furs from all over Canada and the northern Midwest. JJA apparently made quite a bundle of money in Mackinac.

The carriage trip was a package that included a visit to the butterfly conservatory. I figured, what the heck, look at some of the natural beauty; the eye-popping designs of our Creator. And there were some beauties there. More and more I’m convinced that one of the best ways to worship God is by simply spending the time to appreciate and admire His wonderful gifts, so many of which are found in nature, and thank Him for them.

I finished the afternoon at an Irish pub named after a former Lieutenant Governor, Sinclair’s. The food was tolerable but nothing to write home about. On the way back to the rv park I stopped at a little place that sells pasties and bought one to heat up for dinner. These meat pies are a regional specialty. If any of you have ever read Lillian Braun’s The Cat Who mysteries, this area is the location of Qwilleran and his cats and the books often mention pasties (prononced “pass” rather than “paste”). I’ll let you know what I think of it.

Today I had a couple people ask me if I was traveling alone. I simply said “yes.” It struck me as a little bit inappropriate for strangers to ask and I didn’t appreciate people reminding me that I am alone. It’s difficult enough to be doing things alone, without having to explain it to people. In fact, I had to kind of psyche myself up to go on the ferry and carriage tour without even having Charlie along. And sitting alone in a pub is always challenging. Several times I have had people at rv parks I’m staying at ask me if I am alone and usually that leads to a friendly discussion, but I am not completely comfortable advertising the fact that I am alone, especially in some of the more marginal parks I’ve stayed at.

The rv park Charlie and I are staying in tonight (and last night) is one of the more marginal I’ve stayed at; I don’t feel completely comfortable here but it’s just one more night. It’s right on the banks of Lake Huron so we have managed to stick our toes in both Huron and Michigan. We missed Superior because Shirley and I were too wet and tired to take a side trip northeast of the Boundary Waters. I could actually drive about 50 miles north to Sault Ste Marie in Ontario which is where Superior joins Huron. Interesting that these three huge lakes all come together right in this area. Huron and Michigan come together just south of St. Ignace. The Mackinac Bridge, a five-mile-long suspension toll bridge, joins the two points of Michigan.

Interesting story I heard from my friend Tony, not sure if it’s true. The reason the peninsula is part of Michigan instead of Wisconsin, to which it is more securely attached and which would make more sense, is that when state lines were laid out, apparently both Ohio and Michigan wanted Toledo (go figure!). And since Ohio got Toledo, Michigan got the upper peninsula.

Tomorrow I head south across the toll bridge (not sure how much that will cost for an rv towing a car) and then down through the middle of Michigan. Then we turn east through Flint to Port Huron where we stay for a night, and on through part of Ontario to New York state and Niagara. What’s interesting is that when I am in Ontario between Detroit and Buffalo it looks like I will actually be farther south than Portland. I will meet my friend Geri Muoio, who sang soprano with me in the St. Ignatius choir before she moved back to New York. I will leave the rv in her housing community and Charlie and I will stay with her for a couple of days while I explore the western part of New York state. Geri is also a widow and it will be good to visit with her and maybe have a guide for a couple days. If I’m lucky she will have found a good Jesuit parish around Rochester.

Oh, and if you’re in the market for buying a house, I haven’t checked prices here in Michigan but in Green Bay you can get a really nice place for less than $150,000. And you get a football team as part of the package. Apparently the Packers and the Vikings have a pretty good rivalry going. Interesting that I just left Viking country. Next stop: Bills country. This could be a dream trip for a big NFL fan. For me, though, it seems like it’s all about water: the lakes and then in a couple days the falls.

So all in all I am seeing some beautiful things, getting a taste of how other parts of our country look, what the people are like, where and how they live. And keeping my eyes open for some of those beautiful gifts to appreciate, admire and be thankful for.

TravelinLady

Adventures in Dairyland

Egg Harbor, Fish Creek, Sister Bay, Bailey’s Harbor, Wisc. August 25 -- Wisconsin does cute quite well. I’m impressed! Charlie and I spent some time yesterday and today exploring the darling little harbor towns -- this area is known as the Cape Cod of the Midwest -- on the peninsula. Some of these places are what I imagine New England will look like: very nautical with lots of cute little shops in large old buildings or tiny little cottages. Although since I had Charlie with me, we didn’t go into any of them. All those shops and not a penny spent on stuff. I guess I learned my lesson about buying “stuff” when I had my estate sale. Lots of sailboats and power boats tied up to the docks and anchored in the bays. If you had a little time and money and liked boating, it would be fun to just harbor-hop. And I didn’t even get up to the northern tip of the peninsula and Washington Island. This area is apparently known for its cherries and I have seen a few orchards and lots of farm produce stands and markets. They also grow peaches here and the Michigan peaches have a good reputation so I’m looking forward to fresh peaches, with maybe just a little tiny bit of cream. Yum!

Lots of Catholic churches here, too. Every town has a church. I understand that because of the bad weather Wisconsin has been known to experience, when they developed the diocese here they put churches about every 7 miles. Now there are tons of little churches but not enough priests to minister to them all. It appears that many of the churches are all part of one parish -- Stella Maris (I think that’s Star of the Sea) -- sort of like the “missions” in Oregon. There are lots of other churches, too, but the Catholics seem to have a leg up on the other folks.

Another thing I’ve noticed about Wisconsin is the number of “ball rooms,” 
“dance barns” or similar places for dancing. Looks to me like Wisconsinites enjoy getting out and dancing a bit. I understand much of this area was originally settled by the French, but the Germans, Poles and other nationalities have since taken charge. Wonder how many polkas are danced at these dance halls?

Charlie and I dipped our toes into the Green Bay side of the peninsula and also the Lake Michigan side. The water is very clear -- frankly I expected it to be less clean -- and surprisingly warm at the beaches. Charlie was his usual “charming” self and several very small children talked to him and petted him. He really is quite the conversation-starter. Seems once people have had a golden retriever, they can’t pass by one without stopping to talk to both the dog his person.

In fact, I had a nice visit this morning with a couple from Colorado, I think, although they are “registered” in Texas. They have had goldens in the past. They’ve been full-timers for four years. We are going in the same direction and they will winter in Hilton Head. I may stop in to visit them if I get down that far. They invited me to travel with them to Maine but they are on a different schedule and will be arriving in Maine probably about the time I need to hightail it back to Oregon. It would be fun to have other people to caravan with but it would be hard to get schedules and rv-park memberships, etc. to match up. Plus I need to make sure I have plenty of quiet/prayer time and being with other people often cuts into that. Traveling with Charlie like I did today still leaves me plenty of time to think and reflect since Charlie doesn’t say too much most of the time. He keeps his thoughts to himself and doesn’t seem to mind when I share mine with him.

I drove into Green Bay this evening and had dinner with my friend Tony and his wife, Jackie. Both are from Oregon. I worked with Tony 20 years ago and we’ve kept in touch off and on. He writes outrageous Christmas letters and I finally got to meet Jasmine, their dog, who stars in many of the adventures recounted in each missive.

Today I contacted another friend, Geri, who was part of our Parish in Portland and sang with me in the choir. She moved back to New York about a year ago so I am hoping we can get together next month. I will probably spend two or three days in Michigan and then go through Ontario into Niagara Falls. People tell me it’s best to see it from the Canadian side. Then I’ll try to spend some time with Geri, who lives near Rochester on Lake Ontario. We talked about the possibility of even getting “close” to New York City and then taking a train in since I’ve never seen the city and it would be a shame to be so close and not at least say I’d been there. If I were without my buddy Charlie I could go in for a night or two but it will be hard enough leaving Charlie if I fly back to Portland in early October. I’m pretty attached to the big furball.

Although I’m reserved here through Sunday night, I am thinking I will leave tomorrow and head for Michigan. Shirley has decided she won’t join me; she has a new job to get ready for! I will spend a couple nights around St. Ignace/Mackinac City/Mackinaw Island so I have some time to explore that area. Then I have reservations for two nights at a 1000 Trails campground near Port Huron but may only stay one night. It’s really the only 1000 Trails until Maine and I stay there free so it’s tempting to stay longer. I am a little worried about not having reservations anywhere for Labor Day weekend. That might be interesting. I could be spending Labor Day at WalMart. Naaaawwww, I’d have to be pretty desperate to do that. So far everything has worked out just fine so I really need to just relax and stop worrying about the future and just focus on enjoying the beauty of each minute, each day.
TravelinLady

Back in the Saddle Again

Sturgeon Bay, Wisc., August 23 -- Hurray! My motorhome is fully functional again -- in fact, it’s better than before. And it only cost me $1,200!! Sigh -- penny-wise and pound-foolish. I left Burnsville, MN, where my repairs were done, around 10:30 this morning and arrived in Sturgeon Bay around 5 p.m. I am staying in a very nice rv resort in Door County, the peninsula that juts out into Lake Michigan just southeast of Green Bay. It is one of my membership parks so is only costing me $8 a night. If you don’t count replacing an inverter, I haven’t spent very much this month so far. Of course, if you do count that repair, it’s been a pretty pricey month!

I must admit, I find Wisconsin quite picturesque. Large barns and silos dominate the skyline, but there are plenty of trees and even hills, although the peninsula itself is quite flat. Lots of cornfields among the green pastures. I have actually see a few head of cattle. But I had to come all the way to Wisconsin to see actual live Bison. I’ve traveled all over the west and so far this is the first sighting of Bison. Of course, it was at a Bison ranch along the freeway I did see one field of sunflowers but they looked like I have been feeling the last few days: not one touch of golden brightness visible; the heads were all bent over facing the ground. Maybe they are just heavy with seed; or maybe there is no sun for them to look up to. Or maybe they, like everything else, are so soaked they can’t lift their heads. I haven’t managed to outrun the rain. I think it’s following me. The people here in Wisconsin are delighted -- they want the rain. I am sick of it.

It is fascinating to me to think how “close” things are the farther east I go. It isn’t very far from here to Milwaukee, and not much farther to Chicago. Once I get into Michigan, it wouldn’t take long to get to New York. And from New York, it’s not far at all to New England, Pennsylvania, and other places I could visit. I guess Seattle and Portland aren’t that far apart; but beyond that it takes forever to get to San Francisco or LA. If nothing else, this is a great experience in Geography. Traveling teaches you the layout of places like nothing else.

It has occurred to me a few times since I started this eastward trip that I am retracing some of John’s travels. The first year after high school he spent attending a seminary in Waukesha, Wisc., which is just east of Milwaukee. So driving along 94 has often evoked thoughts of John as a young man. He sometimes talked about their travels driving between Wisconsin and Washington. I SHOULD drop down into Ohio and visit the area where my mother grew up. I’m not sure if she would still have living relatives there. We never really knew them, since we grew up in Washington. I was in Ohio a couple times as a small child, but have no contacts there now.

Once I started the motorhome and hit the open road this morning, all those insecurities I felt yesterday vanished and I felt invigorated and ready to accept the challenge of new discoveries. I would LOVE to see Chicago -- I’ve never been there, beyond the train station when as a young child I traveled through to Ohio (my earliest memory is the Chicago train station: very chaotic!), but I am not about to venture there in a motorhome. I’m not even sure I would risk it in my Saturn.

In addition to a resurgence of courage, I am cognizant of what a wonderful gift I have received in this opportunity. My sister helped me see how fortunate I am to have the time and money to do this. So what if I have no one to do it with; it is still a gift and I really would be an ingrate to turn my back on it. In addition, I would probably regret it for the rest of my life if I did not see this through to completion -- whatever and whenever that might be. So after a few days of nostalgia and insecurities, I am once again ready to follow the open road. Strangely today a song kept popping into my mind. It’s a John Denver song and I may have it on one of my cds; I’ll have to look. It wasn’t that well known but was on one of his albums. Sweet Surrender is the name of it. I think it may have been from some movie soundtrack (about bears or something). Anyway, the words are something like: lost and alone on some forgotten highway, traveled by many, remembered by few; looking for something that I can believe in, looking for something that I’d like to do with my life. So I guess that epitomizes some of what this trip is about; lost and wandering, looking for meaning.

More good news: Shirley, my sister, interviewed for a job yesterday and was offered the position today. It is a legal secretary job with one of Minneapolis’ most prestigious law firms. If she likes it, she will probably have the possibility of moving into a para-legal position down the road. I am happy for her. She will be making good money and have opportunities to advance. I know she was a good teacher -- and principal -- but I am glad she will no longer be working for the church. Their loss -- really!! Since she starts right after Labor Day, she may still come travel with me for a a few days. It would be nice to have her along in Northern Michigan (St. Ignace??) and NW New York (Niagara Falls).

So I am once again ready to face the challenges of being a single woman exploring this beautiful country of ours with only my trusty sidekick, Charlie, to keep me company. Tomorrow I will contact my friend in Green Bay, Tony, whom I worked with in Portland 20 years ago, and see if he has a couple hours to spare so we can catch up on life. He will retire at the end of this month. Then I will get back to my books, my reading, my journaling, maybe find a little time to paint, plan the next leg of the journey and just get on with it!
TravelinLady

A Spiritual Dry Spell in Spite of the Rain

Prior Lake, MN, Aug. 22 -- I am getting tired of the rain here. It is August, for Heaven's sake! Even when the rain stops briefly, the air is so thick you can almost see droplets of water. Everything feels damp. The humidity in my Mo is hovering between 87 and 89 percent this morning. I have only seen the sun for brief moments since Friday. Even when we have rainy weather in Portland after July it rarely lasts more than a day. I know they have been having a drought but it's too late to save some of the crops. In fact, the leaves are starting to change color in some places because of the stress of drought. So I feel selfish whining about the wetness; but it is depressing.

My new "rebuilt" inverter arrived at the shop today but unfortunately they are short-handed so I will have to take it in tomorrow morning first thing. I was hoping to be on the road tomorrow morning first thing, but I can work around this, I guess. I am scheduled to be in Door County (just south of Green Bay) for four nights starting Thursday. I will spend a few hours with an old friend, but he and his wife have alot of time commitments so a few hours is all I'll get. More exploring on my own.

I spent quite a bit of time this morning looking at my atlases and trying to figure out where my next stop will be. Somewhere in Michigan if I continue East. Right now I am having many second thoughts about this traveling. It just seems overwhelming. Some days it seems exciting. Today it seems unsettling -- frightening even -- not knowing where I am going. I'm not sure I have it in me to continue this journey alone. Today I thought alot about the loneliness of what I am doing and asked myself many questions -- mostly starting with why. I am really feeling the loss of John deeply today. There are so many beautiful, wonderful places to see, so many interesting things to do, but they lose their luster when I think about doing them alone. It is tempting to just hit 90 after leaving Wisconsin and head back west through South Dakota and Wyoming, the places I planned to travel through on the way out here but didn't because of the motorcycle enclave in Sturgis, and then continue west. I have a longing for the familiar: familiar faces, familiar places.

I don't think my "journey" is done yet and I hate to abort it. But the true journey is more internal anyway. I could do it from anywhere, including spending a week or two here or there throughout the Northwest. I finished my Sue Monk Kidd book -- finally. It has been very helpful to me in reflecting on this time of waiting. I could use some spiritual direction -- and all my contacts for that are in the Northwest. My guardian angels, my spiritual mentors, are all in the Northwest. In spite of all the rain here, I feel dried up spiritually; uninspired, unsettled. Is that what is pulling me back west?

So today I struggle with all the open doors, all the unanswered questions. What DO I want to be when I grow up? The only for sure answer I've come up with at this point is that I don't want to be alone.

TravelinLady

Rain, Rain Go Away

Prior Lake, MN, August 21 -- It has been raining here steadily since Saturday. We did get a little break last night and this morning but later in the night there was thunder and lightening. I am getting tired of thunderstorms and humidity. It really makes me appreciate Oregon in the summer. I miss the Northwest. I miss my friends and my faith community. Even though I rarely got to see my kids, I miss them. I feel so far away and lost, so out of touch. I was telling my sister this morning, I feel very anchorless and like I'm just kind of drifting without direction. It does help that I have plans for mid-September in Maine. That gives me something to tie the wanderings to, at least for awhile. Maybe the rain is depressing me a little.

I continue to bounce between enthusiasm for the things I will get to see and do in the next few months and the insecurity of having no roots. The pleasure of traveling and exploring, but the pain and loneliness of doing it alone. Consolation and desolation. I haven't yet figured out what this is telling me.

I heard today about a friend who passed away very suddenly last week, 24 hours after being diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. I knew her from my work, though I didn't know her well. She was always so upbeat and positive, so enthusiastic and friendly, and such a great person. She was on the road to recovery after suffering a serious stroke. She was only in her early 50s. Life can be so harsh. We just never know how much time we have on this earth and I feel a strong need to understand my purpose for being here, a desire to accomplish what I can with what life I have. I am trying to understand that, to learn about myself, my world and find some way to make a difference that is meaningful to me. I am looking for my passion, I guess. What is it that calls to me above all else? Where can I focus my energies in making changes, in serving God where I feel called to serve? There are so many great and important things that need to be done, but there are also many little things to be done. Things that don't make headlines, don't turn you into a hero, that don't even earn any kind of recognition. Sometimes I think these are the more important things, but it's also harder to feel like you are making a difference with these little things. That's where our ego comes in, I guess. It can keep us from doing the little things because we are looking for bigger things, things that bring us recognition and appreciation. We all want to be stars, especially we Leos.

I am fully away that right now I am not contributing anything to life and the world; mostly I'm in a receiving mode. I need help with some of my motorhome issues since I am particularly incompetent when it comes to mechanical things. That bothers me some. But sometimes it's important to be able to receive; that allows others to give. We all need to be able to both give and receive.

I was watching tv this morning -- something I rarely do on my own but have been doing more of while visiting my sis -- and they were talking about an upcoming interview with Brad Pitt about his campaign to rebuild New Orleans using more green technology. This is something I could get interested in working on -- sustainability issues and alternative energy -- but I really don't know anything about it. Maybe I should get myself down to New Orleans and get involved in the Habitat programs there. Wonder if Habitat does Green buildings. I am not sure I will want to stay "retired" for the rest of my life. Even if I don't work at a career, I am sure I will want to be involved in something.

There's still the whole Therapy Dog thing with Charlie I could pursue. He is such a delightful dog -- so loving and eager and enthusiastic. People are just drawn to him and he loves kids. I could see him really being good as a therapy dog. But the sad truth is, Charlie is already 5; big dogs don't live that long. He probably has five good years left. This morning I was thinking about how attached I am to Charlie. Probably too attached. I sometimes feel he is all I have left. My children have their own lives and although they love me I know, I am just not that important to them anymore. And that is as it should be. They need to be involved and absorbed by their own lives. My role there is minimal now.

I've been thinking a little about Thanksgiving and Christmas. Where will I be? How will I celebrate? Will I be alone? It's a strong possibility. That will be very difficult. I have never been alone for either holiday before; even right after John died I surrounded myself with family. Tomorrow is my birthday. I guess I'll be buying myself an inverter. But beyond that, what? I'm really too old to care, but birthdays are a time when we need to be remembered and acknowledged just for being here. It's like a time to celebrate the essence of the person who was born on that day however many years ago. There were a couple times when my husband and kids totally blanked on my birthday and it was incredibly hurtful. I have chosen this exile, this nomad existence, and so I have no one to blame if I am alone at special times but myself. I know that. But these are the kinds of things I didn't really consider when I made this decision. I will need to think of something special to do for myself, to celebrate myself. I'll let you know if I think of anything.

TravelinLady

Progress on the Home Repair Front

Prior Lake, MN -- This morning I phoned one of the repair places Monaco had referred me to and was able to take the motorhome in to Lakeland Coach in Burnsville, MN. After checking out the systems, they told me it was, in fact, the inverter that got fried and will have to be replaced. The good news is, they can get a replacement inverter shipped in the next couple of days and get the coach right in. So in a couple days and $1,200 later I'll probably be good to go. I guess it could have been worse. I could have spent alot more money; some of the appliances might have needed to be replaced, but looks like they're all okay. And it might have taken weeks to get in to have the coach repaired. So in spite of this creating some difficulties, I am feeling much better about all of this.

What I am NOT feeling better about is my sister's situation. After working 11 years teaching in the Catholic school system here in the Archdiocese of St. Paul/Minneapolis, she was laid off this spring because the school she has been teaching at the last two years has a reduction in enrollment. Turns out the wonderful Archdiocese seems to think it is above justice for its employees. Seems they think it's okay to push other employers to provide just working conditions, going so far as to support and encourage unionization and writing encyclicals about justice for workers, but they themselves don't think it's important to pay into the state's unemployment system. Since they don't pay into it, laid off employees have no protection, no safety net. Isn't that just so hypocritical?!? And on top of that, since she has her Master's in Education, she is having a difficult time finding someone who will hire her because that means they will have to pay her more than someone right out of college with just a Bachelor's degree. And she is "overqualified" for other jobs she has applied for. I am a Catholic and always have been and always will be, but that doesn't mean that I agree with or even like certain bureaucratic/hierarchical decisions that get made by the church leaders. It is easy for me to see why people turn away from organized religion! I am so angry but don't know that there is really much I can do to help my sister.

Sometimes life is so unfair and it makes me so angry, but I don't know what to do with all of that. I don't understand why some people have such difficult lives, through no fault of their own. My sister is smart and kind and good and hardworking and competent; she deserves the best things life has to offer. She doesn't deserve to worry about not having any income, not having health insurance. These are things I just don't understand. Where is God in this kind of stuff? So if you are reading this, please say a prayer for my sister Shirley that she finds rewarding, fulfilling employment OUTSIDE of the church!!

Since it looks like the Mo will be ready to go Wednesday or Thursday at the latest, I will probably head east to visit my friends in Green Bay. I have reservations for four nights in Door County, which is supposed to be a pretty cool place. It's the peninsula that sticks out into Lake Michigan just below Green Bay. From there, I don't know. I am still planning on Maine in mid-September and am on track with the Habitat for Humanity people for at least a week there. Having a destination and ETA are helpful to me because that provides framework for my travel planning.

It has been nice having access to the library here in Prior Lake. They have little study rooms with doors and a desk that allows me privacy when using my computer. It would be nicer if I had wifi at "home" because I always need what I don't have with me. But that's kind of the story of my life.

So looks like after just two weeks here I will be moving on. If I had to have these electrical problems, I'm glad I had them here where I have at least one family member to hang out with and share meals with and use her bathroom. Still, if I hadn't plugged into 220 volts, possibly this would never have happened. It's another example of trying to save money and ending up spending way more. Kind of like that shortcut through the Boundary Waters. Maybe there's a lesson in this somewhere. If I figure it out, I'll share it with you but it's likely this is the kind of thing we all have to work out for ourselves anyway.

travelinlady

Life Just Never Gets Easy

Prior Lake, MN, Sunday, Aug. 19 -- More Boundary Waters photos -- they are nicer to share than pictures of me crying. We arrived back at Shirley’s around 7 Friday night, wet and tired and cranky, to some good news and some bad news. The good news was that Charlie was just fine and happy to see me home. The bad news was that while we were gone something had happened with the electrical system in the Mo. Tim talked to some people he knows who sell motorhomes. Apparently he had hooked me up with 50 amps of service but it was connected to 220 volts, not the 110 volts used by most motorhomes. Well, I wouldn’t have known the difference, to be quite honest, since electrical circuitry is not one of my hobbies. Guess it should be.

The bottom line was something had happened and I had no electricity at all. I called the service place in Junction City where I’d had the work done before and was lucky enough to get a technician. He said there were several possibilities: I might have blown the inverter that converts dc to ac. Or we could have blown the microwave and/or the tv and/or the air conditioners. Or we might have to replace all the appliances. The inverter alone is probably $2,500 to replace. I then contacted Monaco Service to see who they could recommend in the Twin Cities to work on it. I didn’t get to talk with a technician and none called me back so I borrowed a battery-powered lantern and went to bed in the dark.

Saturday I called Monaco again and did get to talk with a technician. He suggested I try starting the generator. When I told him I got nothing he was worried that we had some serious problems. He gave me several certified repair places close to Prior Lake. Unfortunately, none are open on Saturdays. Tim and I spent most of the rest of the day dinking around trying to figure out what the problems were. At one point I checked the batteries and turned the house battery off and then back on. Whammo, everything lit up and when I ran the engine it seemed to be charging the batteries. We were able to get lights, the refrigerator was working, the air conditioner and the heat were working and the inverter seemed to be doing it’s thing. We were able to charge the batteries up enough that I could get the generator started. So it’s possible that only the microwave and television (which refused to work when Tim first plugged me into power last week) are screwed up. But as we worked on things, it was clear that there was an issue with the house battery and instead of charging, it seemed to be draining. So Tim called his friend in the motorhome business and she and her husband came by. After talking awhile and looking at things, her husband decided to try connecting the cellunoid that works between the house and the coach/chassis batteries. He used his jumper cable “jaws” to connect the two and the difference that resulted was obvious. He suggested we take the cellunoid off and try replacing it. Monday, of course. But we were able to generate enough power to get the two slides closed so at least I can drive the Mo now and take it someplace for repairs. Assuming I can get it in someplace. When I had the service done in Oregon they were booking things a month out.

It would be nice if replacing the cellunoid took care of the problem. But I think the microwave and television still represent some serious issues. Still they would be less expensive to replace than the inverter and/or all the appliances. And I really don’t watch tv anyway; but it’s nice to have the tv and dvd for movies. It’s possible my insurance might cover some of the cost of repairing the damages, according to the service people I’ve talked to. I guess I won’t know anything for sure until Monday when I have a chance to talk to some service people here in town. I may end up having to take the motorhome to Elkhart, Ind., to the Monaco Service place. Actually, it’s probably only about a day’s drive away. The other two places Monaco has are in Florida and Oregon. It’s tempting to think about going back to Oregon where I have plenty of people who love me and would take care of me. But (a) I don’t want to drive for four days without electricity, and (b) it’s in the wrong direction.

So once again I am finding out how very little I know about mechanical things. Truth be told, I really don’t WANT to know about these things. I want all these kinds of problems to just go away.

Sometimes I feel that all these things are nothing more than temptations to make me abandon this pilgrimage. That makes me believe it is even more important for me to continue on this journey. There must be some reason that evil forces want me to quit. But in my heart I know I am not a quitter, and pushing me only makes my Irish take over, and I can get stubborn and even belligerent. I have discovered a steel core inside myself that keeps me standing straight in adversity. I can certainly bend when it is necessary to bend and be flexible, but I have also learned that giving up or falling apart or despairing are of no value. So I might allow myself to wallow in self-pity for a little while, but I am just as likely to come up swinging when I’ve regained my strength.

So just another little challenge to face in this voyage of self-discovery I’ve undertaken.

TravelinLady

There and Back Again -- a Woman's Tale

Ely, Minn., Boundary Waters Canoe Wilderness Area, August 17 -- We went into the wilderness and survived. At least so far I am still alive.

On Monday night we drove up north to Grand Rapids, Minn., and stayed in the home of my sister Shirley’s friends, Jan and Jim have a house on about 20 acres of woods on a lake in the Nor’voods that they are fixing up. Shirley and Jan taught school together last year but both lost their jobs and are searching for work. We stayed with them, their three adult sons and one of the son’s girlfriend and left early Tuesday morning for Ely. Sam, the oldest son, is 28 and was recently commissioned as an officer in the Marines. He has served in Afghanistan. Matt, the middle son, is completing his studies in aerospace engineering at the U. of Minn. His girlfriend, Samantha (two Sams on this trip, whodda thunk it!) is completing her studies at the U. of Minn. also. John, the youngest at 20, is a student at Mankato State U studying mass communications.

We arrived in Ely and waited around awhile to get the permits, then drove about 20 miles to the offloading place for Lakes 1, 2, 3 and 4. It was a pleasant trip through some beautiful streams with blooming water lillies and then open water. After paddling several miles we found a campsite that would accommodate four tents on Lake 3. After setting up camp and resting from the rigors of paddling for two hours we got to know each other a little better. The next couple of days were mostly relaxing, fishing and reading and a little canoeing and visiting during the day, fixing meals, fetching water (from the lake -- yuck), and sitting around the campfire at night watching the awesome stars and meteor showers. We also managed to eliminate something like 23 liters of box wine. The boys were very quiet (taciturn was the word of the day) until they’d imbibed a little. On the last night, Lt. Sam was reading us Viking poetry from a book of Icelandic tales.

Everyone was ready to leave by Friday morning and a decision was made, after studying the maps, to follow a different route home. The wind was very strong and gusty on Friday so that made the decision to take what appeared to be a shortcut that didn’t require crossing so much open water and didn’t look like it required portaging look even better. The first part of the journey was fine -- and very misleading. After crossing the lake we entered a lovely river. We soon discovered, however, that because of the drought, the river was full of rapids and many large rocks were hiding just below the surface of the water. Shirley and I had probably the heaviest canoe and the only canoe without a strong, strapping man who had done the Boundary Waters before so we found ourselves caught on rocks way too many times. At least a couple of times I got out to try to free it from the rocks so managed to get wet to above my waist.

Then a series of rapids looked too difficult even for the most experienced, strongest members of the team. The team leaders decided we needed to portage. It was the Portage from Hell! I ended up carrying our Duluth Bag which contained tent, sleeping bags, air mattress, tarps, and miscellaneous other items that probably weighed 75-80 pounds. Shirley took everything else. Fortunately I also had the paddles which I used as walking sticks to help balance the load. The path was not at all well-used and was questionable at best for portaging. It was not easy going but then I came to the tree across the path at about waist height. I couldn’t fit under with the huge pack on my back and couldn’t climb over. I ended up taking the pack off, resting it on the log and climbing over the tree while holding the pack in place, then put it back on and finished the hike over twisting turns with steep rock climbs up and down hills. The guys, Thank God!, carried the canoes. Normally one person can put a canoe on their shoulders and carry it. This portage required two people on a canoe. And they had to take the canoes down a steep track and still negotiate a set of challenging rapids. Finally we got everything transferred and all the canoes in place. I managed to step through a hole at the base of an old stump and land knee-first one a rock in the process. Then as I was getting into our canoe, fully loaded with all our worldly goods, somehow the canoe tipped over and everything got soaked. I landed on a very sharp rock on the other knee, cutting it. Kneeling is not something I will enjoy doing for the next few days.

We finally, finally made it through the Shortcut -- which took probably two hours longer than if we’d just returned the way we came. But the guys had a good adventure and challenge. We paddled across Lake 1 against the wind and when we finally arrived at the landing spot where we’d left the cars, I was ready to fall down on my knees and kiss the ground; except that my knees where wrecked. Shirley and I made it to a gas station in Ely without running out of gas. We were both soaked and cold, but managed to find a couple dry things to wear. And then Home! I was so happy to see Charlie again, safe and sound. And I was so happy to be safe and sound.

It is beautiful country of interlocking lakes and rivers that extend far into Canada. We were in a fairly busy/popular area so saw and heard people throughout the four days we were in the Boundary Waters. When we started the trip I only knew Shirley and she didn’t know anyone else but Jan very well. I think we left as friends and I certainly will remember Jan and Jim and their boys and Samantha with fondness for a very long time. I was amazed and impressed with the strength of character as well as the physical strength of everyone on the trip. I am so glad we had strong young men with us who were so helpful. After landing I was going to put the Duluth bag on to carry it up from the canoe to the car. I was struggling to get it up onto my shoulders. Sam came by already carrying a Duluth bag and offered to help. I asked him to just help me get it up onto my shoulders. Instead, with one hand, he picked it up and carried it up the hill. Thank God for the Marines!! If he’s typical, we are in good hands.

I’m not much of a “roughing it” kind of person. I don’t like to stoop and bend when I’m in my bedroom (tent), or use an incredibly smelly, scary open-pit toilet. I don’t like mosquitoes and biting flies. I am a wimp. I like to have clean water, clean food, clean hands and clean clothes. But I managed to meet the challenges of this trip and, except for a few bruises and contusions, I am fine. I am glad I did this. It was something worth experiencing, at least once. I could have done without The Last Day but there is also a huge satisfaction in meeting adversity and overcoming it -- even self-imposed adversity.

And I have more adversity to deal with. Which I will write about in another post. For now, suffice it to say, Mission Accomplished!
TravelinLady

Ready, Set, ROW!!!

Prior Lake, MN, August 12 -- Just returned from a beautiful three-hour tour of Prior Lake -- the lake, not the town. It is really quite big; the town is kind of small but cute. Shirley’s friend/landlord Tim has a friend whose in-laws have a house on the lake and a pontoon boat so Tim asked him to give us a tour. Very impressive homes along the lakeshore. But the sky and clouds, as seen in the photos, were amazingly beautiful.

On Saturday we went to the farmers market in Prior Lake. Very small but cute; I bought some beautiful gladiolas. That afternoon we went into town to the St. Paul Irish Fest. It was a great event, very crowded, lots of things Irish, including dance, music, beer, many shops, etc. Heard some good music, including a couple of groups (Gaelic Storm and the Fuschia Band) both from Ireland. But it was incredibly hot -- and humid. I’m bettin’ they sold alot o’beer! During the Gaelic Storm concert the rain started, and then the lightning. They had to stop the show. So that cooled things off quite quickly. I guess they had hail here in Prior Lake, as well as quite a bit of rain. The ponds were dry when I arrived here; they are now over their banks in some places. And more rain is predicted for tomorrow. Fortunately we escaped rain and lightning tonight. Don’t know what the weather will be like up north in the Boundary Waters.

According to my book, “1,000 Places to See Before You die,” a lovely parting gift from my former co-workers, The Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness is “the largest US wilderness preserve east of the Rockies and North America’s best canoeing destination.” It is a million acres of lakes, with 1,500 miles of mapped canoe routes with absolutely no roads or other modern conveniences. I understand we will be canoeing in on Tuesday morning to find a campground and if we find one we like, we will probably just stay there and canoe out on day trips. Yay! No portaging. We have the canoe -- picked it up today -- and the Duluth bag is already full with tent and other supplies. We will have to squeeze in a few clothes to last us for five days (small little daypacks are all we get to keep our clothes and everything personal in). We will want to keep our packing as light as possible in case we DO have to portage. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term, to portage means to carry everything -- canoe and all supplies -- from one navigable lake to another when there are rapids or for some other reason the canoes cannot be moved through the water. Sounds like way too much work to me, especially given the heat and humidity we’ve been having here in Minnesota. Temperature has been mostly in the 90s; don’t know what the humidity has been, but it’s high. Yuck! I’ll take Oregon any day.

Charlie failed on his canoe trip test so he will stay home with Tim. I hate to leave him for that long, but he will probably be fine. It will be good practice for him since I will probably have to leave him for several days in October when I return to Portland.

I spent some time with my atlases, guidebooks and campground membership books today. I am getting a little jazzed about seeing some of the places I’ve read about and heard about all my life. I just wish I didn’t have to do it alone; it would be so much more fun with a partner. Oh well! I think my next destination will be Sturgis Bay, Wisc. I can visit my friend in Green Bay (he just retired as editor of the Green Bay Catholic newspaper; I worked with him on the Catholic Sentinel in Portland -- omigosh, 20 years ago!!) and then head through Michigan/Ontario and on to Upstate New York. Fortunately there are a number of member campgrounds I can stay in for a reasonable fee. I may also sign up to do a Habitat for Humanity build in Maine in September. We’ll see. I’ve written to them to see what I need to do to volunteer. That should still give me plenty of time to visit the state. I may also slip down into Pennsylvania for a few days in the Lancaster area, visit the Amish parts, Hershey, etc. I’d love to see some Civil War/Rev. War sites, as well as Philadelphia. I also need to stop by Niagara Falls when coming out of Ontario into New York. I will most likely get to see all of the Great Lakes -- at least pieces of them, put my toe in each one or something. I made a point of putting my toe into the Mediterranean and the North Sea when I was in Europe in 2005. So it feels like living a little history here. This is good stuff. If Shirley comes with me for at least part of the trip she can get some continuing ed credit since she teaches history/civics. That would be cool.

So today I am excited about what I am doing and looking forward to it more than I have been most of this summer. Now I just need to find some time to do those other things: paint, finish my taxes, talk to God, listen to God, figure out the rest of my life, etc.

TravelinLady

When It Rains in Minnesota the Earth Shakes

Prior Lake, MN, Saturday, August 11 -- Thank you, Father, for keeping me safe from the storm last night. It seemed like hours of bright flashing sky, rumbling, booming, crashing, wild wind and pouring rain. There were many times when the lighting flashes were constant -- no seconds of darkness for comfort between them. My bed is between two windows and there are windows almost everywhere in the Mo. Where there aren’t windows there are skylights. The Mo shook with the winds and I kept thinking the big cottonwood I am parked under was going to come down on me. I finally crawled into the bathroom and cowered on the floor. I huddled there for what seemed like hours, hiding behind my pillows, with wild violence roaring outside my little womb that didn’t feel very safe or strong. I felt very vulnerable and begged God to keep me safe and send the storm on its way.

It was just after 5 a.m. when the flashes were infrequent enough and the booms of thunder were far enough off that it felt safe to crawl back onto my bed. I checked on Charlie and he seemed to have had no problems. Thank you, Father, for giving me a dog that doesn’t freak out at thunderstorms, unlike his owner. They are beautiful from a respectful distance, but when they are right on top of you there is such power present that it is awe- and fear-inspiring, at least to me.

This morning the air is cooler and cleaner and the ponds have some water in them. I know Minnnesota needed that rain, but why did it have to come in such an overwhelming statement of raw power? It seems like the “cure” was unnecessarily strong.

As I was cowering in my completely enclosed coccoon, I thought about people who were camping in tents, or people who live in life’s doorways, under its bridges. How do they weather such a storm? It also reminds me again how little control we really have over our own lives. It wouldn’t have taken much for a strike to hit the Mo; what would I have done then? I also realized how strongly we all hold onto life and fear dying. These are the kinds of experiences that help me get perspective on my life and remember that each day, each moment, each breath we take is a gift. How do we say thank you for that gift and all the other gifts God has blessed us with? Just saying “thank you” seems somehow inadequate.

I don’t know when the storm started; Shirley said she woke up around 3 a.m.; I think it was earlier. I was not completely asleep when the flashes and little drops of rain started in what seemed like it was going to be a gentle rainstorm. It seemed like hours of waiting in fear for it to move on. Today I am completely exhausted. I don’t think I had much sleep, and that much fear and apprehension takes a physical toll all on its own, never mind the lack of sleep. But, contrary to all my fears and expectations last night, I am alive. I have much life left to live and I need to move forward with that in mind. When I get lazy or complacent or nervous about the next step, I will remember this thunderstorm and my strong will to continue on with my life, my journey.

TravelinLady

Minnesota

Prior Lake, MN, August 10 -- I arrived in Prior Lake Tuesday afternoon, August 7. Because I didn’t stop over in South Dakota and came directly here, I got here several days earlier than necessary. But I’ve been enjoying my time with my sister, Shirley. We went for a several-miles-long bike ride this morning and a long walk the other day. We have also seen a movie together and met with the woman who is organizing the Boundary Waters trip so we are making plans on what we can take and what should be left behind. We will be packing very lightly in case we have to do any portaging. But we’re only staying out three nights so a single change of clothes is probably enough.

It’s been pretty dry in Minnesota and most of the ponds are dried up (except Charlie managed to find mud to wade and roll in. Yuck! Oh well, he needed a bath, anyway.) The lakes are low and the water is warm so lots of algae. But even with a drought, Minnesota is beautifully green.

This morning we decided to take Charlie out in a canoe to see whether we want to take him with us. He kept moving from side to side to drink the water -- which is really murky and full of algae. I finally got him to lay down in the bottom of the canoe a couple times and once he even stayed for five minutes. But I think we will have enough stress going out into the wilderness in canoes for the first time without having a dog rocking and tipping the boat. Charlie is no lightweight -- his 75-80 pounds throw a canoe around quite a lot -- in fact, the canoe will weigh less than him. So I think Charlie will be staying “home” with Shirley’s friend and landlord, Tim. Tim’s springer spaniel Digger will keep him company and Tim will take care of him. 

Tim had a 50 amp service in his garage/shop but the connections didn’t match mine on the Mo. He went to the hardware store found what he needed and rigged it up so I have power and can run my air conditioner. Thank God. It’s nice to have a handyman around occasionally! It is incredibly humid here and has been in the 90s The first night without air I didn’t get much sleep. So Tim and Shirley come out to the Mo to cool off. I am also hooked up to water but not sewer so I have to make sure I don’t fill my holding tanks or I’ll have to go find a place to dump before we head north. We will leave the Mo here and just rough it. That’s the part I’m not especially looking forward to!

Shirley is currently unemployed; she is a teacher so is normally off in the summers anyway, but her school cut back this spring and she had low seniority so is looking for a new job. So far she is not having an easy time of it. If she doesn’t find anything and is able to get unemployment, she may come travel with me for awhile. Because she teaches history, etc., she can get credits for visiting some of the places -- civil war, Rev. war, sites, etc. -- we will visit. It would be fun to have her with me. She is pretty quiet but can also be very fun and is very capable. She would be a good short-term traveling partner.

Yesterday I thought alot about why we are here, what we should be doing with the time we have. Driving by little farms and housing developments makes me wonder about the people who live there. What do they do? How do they spend their time when they aren’t working to pay for their big homes? What gives meaning to their lives? I had a good conversation with Steve last night and he talked about the option of “not doing; just being.” I think there is a lot of value in that. Just being. Just being a good sister, a good mother, a good friend. Being in love with God and all the beauty He has created. Being a good steward. What is it over my life that has brought me peace? Consolation? Those are the things I need to focus on in choosing what I want to BE for the rest of my life. But I want to BE that person I truly am, have whatever I do be authentic for me, not based on what others may think or what might be right for somebody else. That’s the truly tricky part; ridding myself of the ego parts that keep me trapped in doing things that aren’t authentic to me.

And all of that takes work. I must confess, I avoid it whenever possible. That’s why having people go with me or visiting old friends along the way sounds like such a great idea. Less pressure for me to go down deep and dig out those inauthentic parts of me. But what a waste it would be for me to have done all this and then not take advantage of the opportunities for living authentically. I guess I’d better get myself in gear and get to work! Right after I take the cinnamon pull-aparts out of the oven, and get to the library to check my email and post this blog, and run all the other little errands I manage to find so important!


TravelinLady

In North Dakota

Bismark, and Jamestown, ND, Aug. 6 -- Okay, so go figure. I kind of like North Dakota. It’s orderly. The freeway is two perfectly parallel lines heading east-west. The distance between the two lines of pavement is constant; never seems to vary. The fields are huge but precise: an exact square of corn next to an exact square of wheat next to an exact square of alfalfa. Where the wheat has been harvested, the straw is cut in -- you guessed it -- very straight rows waiting to be rolled into those big round roll-bales they use here. Even the hills are smoothed off -- flat-topped or well rounded; none of those rugged peaks like Montana has. It’s interesting to see rows of trees planted among the fields -- do you think maybe the wind blows here? (Or WHAT!!!)

I drove past many huge fields of sunflowers: they are like tidy rows of grade school children sitting in a huge classroom, their bright faces all looking in the same direction (out the window at the sun, of course). And wherever there are no crops, there is grass. Everything is really very green. Lush, even, especially as you go farther east to where the lakes (swamps?) are. Of course, that could be explained by the rain storms I’ve run through today. In fact, it rained last night a couple of times.

The clouds have actually made driving nicer. Plus when the sunlight slips in and out of the clouds it creates beautiful, subtle changes in the color and texture of the landscape.

Another good thing about North Dakota is there are very few cars on the road. That’s because they are all parked at one of the three rest-stops waiting for the wind to stop blowing. I finally found a rest-stop outside of Bismark with room to park the Mo so I am taking a little break, grabbing a sandwich, and hoping the winds will settle down some. It has been quite stormy here today.

And these North Dakotans have a sense of humor. We passed Salem Sue, the biggest holstein in the world. She is a huge cow statue standing up on one of the hills. You can see her for miles from both east and west on the freeway. Funny thing is, though, I have not seen any holsteins. The few cows I’ve seen have been angus. They also have the worlds largest buffalo (Bison, you guys!!) and the worlds largest sandhill crane. I have seen no live versions of those here, either. I’m surprised they don’t have the world’s largest aardvark.

Another example of the North Dakota sense of humor: you can close down one of the two freeway lanes for more than 20 miles for absolutely no reason. They’re not doing any work. It’s not torn up. Just close it down. What the heck! There’s not that much traffic on a Monday (or probably any other day).

I’ve also found those skunks John talked about. They’re here in North Dakota (although at least one was hanging around the rv park last night by the smell of things).

John’s mom’s family came from the Dickinson area. They moved with their whole village from the Ukraine to North Dakota -- Germans from Russia. That probably explains why everything is so meticulous here. If it were the Irish or Scots who settled here, things might have looked a bit different. Not necessarily better or worse; just different.

Still tracing the Lewis and Clark expedition. Mandan is just west of Bismark; I think that’s where they spent their first winter and hooked up with Sacagawea and Pierre Charbonneau (if my memory serves me correctly -- which it doesn’t always.) So I’ve crossed over the Missouri River a time or two and lost another hour to the time zone fairy. Now in Central Time.

I am about 1-1/2 hours from tonight’s stop but am exhausted. I didn’t sleep enough last night -- scary wind and good book kept me awake till almost 2 a.m. And fighting the wind all day has drained me. So I am taking another rest stop break and resting. I’ll have an ice cream bar and press on soon. But take advantage of the wifi (the dept. of trans. provides it at their rest stops long 94) and send this out.
TravelinLady

Traversing Montana

Glendive, MT, Aug. 5 -- The attached photo is of the Absaroka Mtn. Range as seen from the rv park last night in Livingston. I left around 9 a.m. (Mtn. time) and made it through most of the rest of Montana today with only one minor incident and a couple scary moments. The campground last night was on the Yellowstone River, which we followed pretty much all day today. The farther east I go the wider and muddier it gets. Found out that last night's storms included gusts of 50 to 60 mph in some places. I think I was in some of those places!

It was windy again this afternoon but not as bad as Western Montana. The land is much flatter and maybe that gives the wind more room to spread out. It does come swooshing out of the canyons and draws and coulees though, channeled just like the water is.

I sometimes feel like a junkie looking for my next fix when it comes to fueling up. The first place I pulled into in Bozeman today was so darn tight I had a very difficult time getting the Mo and Saturn turned around and out. In fact, I had to back up a tiny bit several times. I'm sure I had the car jackknifed and ended up tearing the bra a little with the tow bar. Whew! Close contact of the unappreciated kind. But I drove across the road to another station with plenty of room and no waiting. I did pay two cents more a gallon. Big deal! I'd happily pay more to get ease of access to the pump and then ease of leaving. So in the past two days I've put $150 each day in diesel in the Mo. And paid about $29 a night for hookups. And driven about 790 miles -- and that's not including Portland to Cheney. In the process of doing that, I have now traveled farther east than I've ever been on land.

John used to talk about when he went back to the seminary in Wisconsin. They drove and he had nothing pleasant to say about anything east of Billings. Actually, I found the topography kind of interesting; lots of odd rock formations and some places where the rocks and soil were layered, creating different colored strips, including red in some places. He also talked about all the dead skunks. I've seen dead deer and foxes and raccoons but very few skunks so far. The area around BIllings reminds me alot of the Yakima and Kittitas valleys. Everything is surprisingly green here and there is lots of hay being put up -- they use those gigantic rolls instead of bales -- and corn. Sunflowers grow along the highway in may places.

The scary incidents happened when I passed a couple of crews with their John Deere combines. The combines are HUGE and hang well over the lane. It was so freaky passing them and hoping we didn't touch -- we were probably within inches -- that I had to close my eyes. Not really but I wanted to!

If I'd stayed on 90 and headed to So. Dakota I'd have driven past the Little Big Horn Battlefield National Monument but I stayed north on 94 so missed it. Another time, perhaps. For a guy who wasn't too bright, Custer sure has his name on a lot of things out here, including his own county. Much of this route traces the Lewis and Clark Expedition so it is interesting to read the names of places that are mentioned in the chronicles of their travels. Being a big fan of Ivan Doig, it is also neat to see some of the places he references in his books. Miles City Montana is one of those cool names that rolls off your tongue, like Walla Walla Washington. But the town itself was less than impressive -- lots of casinos. I stopped at the WalMart and bought a few groceries. At least they have huge parking lots here. You learn to appreciate those kinds of things when you are driving a 36-foot rig and dragging a car behind.

Montana has some really interesting names for things, especially the counties. Lots of references to animals: Deer Lodge and Beaverhead, Musselshell, Big Horn and the Bear Mouth area (don't think it's a county, though) -- but what's up with naming a county Rosebud? That fascinated me. Speaking of funny names, I went past an exit to Bad Route Road today. I wish I had a way to write down all the goofy road names I've come across so far -- and there are PLENTY in Oregon. I can't stop and write them down -- maybe I need a scribe. Charlie, how's your paw-writing?

Charlie is feeling better today and the place we're staying has some big open fields next to it so I took him off-leash and he loved running around. I did find some small cactus plants growing so decided I'd better keep him under control. I don't want to pick thorns out of his paws.

Tonight I have 50 amp service, water and sewer -- as well as wifi -- in a huge pull-though space for the same price as last night when I only had 30 amp service, no water, no sewer, and had to unhook my car to back into the spot. This is luxury. I am learning how to appreciate simple things. Like having a washer and drier. That is one of the things I really miss! So if I come to visit you, don't be surprised if I ask to do laundry!!

Since it is now just barely 6:30, I will fix some dinner -- I've already swept and mopped and vaccuumed the Mo -- and then try to spend some time reading enlightening stuff and doing some reflecting and journaling. Lots of time to talk to God while I'm driving these 7 and 8 hour days. In a couple days I should be in Prior Lake, Minn. visiting my youngest sister, Shirley. Then we'll head north with her friends to canoe the Boundary Waters. Then . . . who knows!!

TravelinLady

Second Day Out

Livingston, Mont., August 4 -- Left Cheney before 8 a.m. I was SOOOO impressed with the lack of traffic as I came through Spokane at just after 8. Then I realized it was Saturday. So $150 in fuel later ($3.20/gal in Spokane, $3.02 outside Missoula, $2.99 in Bozeman) and I arrived in Livingston at 6:30. Of course, that includes the loss of an hour because of the time change. It also includes lots of slow traffic because of road construction (single lanes, two-way traffic on I-90, 45 mph). It also includes vicious side winds just after crossing the Continental Divide. I had to slow down because the winds would push me into the other lane and then as soon as I came to a cut and got out of the wind I would slide back the other way, only to be hit with the sidewinds coming back out of the cut. It was, quite frankly, Hell! Thankfully it wasn't constant from Butte to Livingstone but there was enough that I was exhausted by teh time I got to Bozeman to fill the tank for the third time today. Mountain passes take a lot of fuel!

I also had to stop frequently for Charlie. He seems to have a slight intestinal disorder. Yuck! So frequent stops and cleanups. Maybe all this traveling doesn't agree with him. He spent much of today just sleeping which makes it easier for me -- I don't have to pet him or fend off his demands for attention. Either he really isn't feeling well or he's getting used to traveling enough that he doesn't need so much reassurance.

And what is it about Montana and thunderstorms? I think that was what was causing much of the winds -- lightening in the mountains and rain off and on until Bozeman. At least it cleaned off the windows pretty well.

I'm in a KOA Kampground south of Livingston, on the way to Yellowstone. I called from Bozeman and they saved me the last site -- electric only, back-in. I am right across from the playground and right next to the swimming pool and, needless to say, it's noisy and not the best place for a single woman in her 50s. Ugh! But at least it's a spot to park for the night. Of course, there is barely a breeze blowing here -- the cottonwoods are scarcely moving. There's even sun -- between fires around Missoula and then the rain and thunderstorms, I haven't seen much of the sun today.

So after an "easy" day yesterday, today was the pits! Today I was ready to throw in the towel and just sell the rv and buy a condo in Vancouver or close to St. Ignatius.

All day today I saw Harley's -- at one rest stop I asked the obvious question. And yes, they are all heading for Sturgis, SD. The same reason I am bypassing SD this trip. I have three people on Bikes staying in tents in the site next to me tonight. They didn't appreciate the wind, either.

I've had to get out of a couple "tight" places today with the Mo and my tow car, the Saturn. I managed to do it quite adequately. So if it weren't for the wind, this would have been a pretty darn successful day. I also spent some time early this morning (6:15) talking to Apple because of a problem with my wifi. Turns out, thankfully, it was the RV park I stayed at last night. Their security system somehow kept me for getting full access. Thankfully I have full access here tonight.

So, two days down. Montana is awfully darn big -- I forget how far it is east to west. I doubt if I'll get through it tomorrow. Still a long ways to Billings, and that isn't even on the eastern edge. Then I still have North Dakota to traverse. So far, at least, there don't seem to be any mechanical problems with the Mo or problems with the tow bar or the Saturn. Thank heavens for small favors.

Let's hope the wind and thunderstorms move on before tomorrow. I need another easy day.

TravelinLady

The Big Trip, First Day

Cheney, Wash., Aug. 3 -- Left Portland around 9 a.m. and arrived here in Cheney about 3, without incident. Unless you could call three wild-goose-chases for diesel that either (a) wasn’t there or (b) was so cumbersome to get to with a big rig that it might as well not have been there incidents. No worries. I still have a quarter tank and am within 10 miles of Spokane. I’ll be fine.

Once I got away from the security blanket that is Portland and on the road and remembered the feel of driving the Mo, it was just fine. In Portland I know where things are and how to get to them. Out here in the wider world it is all pretty much a big mystery. But the more I drive, the more confident I get -- especially if I have taken the time to study maps beforehand and have them close-to-hand.

I’m actually still on semi-safe, familiar turf as I spent a few years about an hour south of Spokane and have subsequently been here a number of times. In fact, John and I seriously considered moving to Spokane several times. It just never came together. But once I get past Bozeman, MT, sometime tomorrow I’ll be in a new world. My sister said Billings is usually her half-way point between Minneapolis and Yakima. I’m a couple or three hours east of Yakima, but also don’t want to do a 14 (or even 10 or 12) hour day.

Even with wind through the Gorge and on and off up 395 and 90 I am feeling very comfortable with the six hours I put in today. I think I could pretty easily drive another couple hours, especially if I don’t take side-trips looking for fuel. So we’ll see.

I am so proud of myself for getting my cell earphone unit fixed and set up and for taking care of a problem with my benefits through my federal retirement. Every time I take on and resolve a problem that feels intimidating and frustrating and makes me want to throw up my hands in surrender, I feel more competent. I guess that’s what challenges are all about. That’s why whenever I step in and rescue my kids as I have done so often over their lives, it is unfair to them and stunts their growth. They are competent and capable and they don’t need their Mom to bail them out. This is a hard lesson for me to learn and accept. I always want to take care of them. But it just isn’t healthy for them or for me. I know this. But putting it into practice is so much more difficult -- the brain is willing but the heart is weak.

I know several people in the Spokane area but I didn’t let anyone know I was coming through. While I’d love to see them, I also need to focus on this other trip -- the internal one. I need to be careful with my time.

I thought about love today. Tricky stuff, that. There are so many kinds of love. And it’s hard to know -- at least I think it is -- when the love is strong enough to put all your chips on the table and gamble with the rest of your life. It’s different at my age. There is no strong biological/sociological push to marry and start a family. The only reason to marry at my age is for the companionship -- if you find someone with whom you become more as half of a partnership than you are alone. That symbiosis thing -- when two together are stronger/better than two separately. Well, at least that’s what I’m thinking today.

That’s the good part of all this driving -- PLENTY of time to think.

Coming up through Irrigon and Umatilla I passed lots of produce stands. I was tempted to stop but I had made a couple visits to a farm stand about a mile west of the RV park I stayed at in Portland/Fairview. I am finishing up the last of my fresh corn tonight. It is so sweet and tender! I also bought peaches, and my friend Steve gave me a home-grow cucumber which I am also enjoying tonight. I love fresh vegetables and fruit. The fresher the better! That’s a downside to this trip: no tomatoes that I can pick at the peak of sweet juiciness. I have seen people who have potted tomatoes, flowers, etc., but I’m thinking they are actually living where they are parked for the summer. You don’t have to keep moving to be a full-timer in the RV world. Often people work at the resorts/parks and get their spaces free. I know Oregon State Parks has hosts at their campgrounds.

I looked up the Habitat for Humanity program that uses RVers to do builds. I will have to look at those possibilities. But they are two week stints so while two months out on the road seems overwhelming, when I think about taking a couple weeks here and there, it doesn’t add up. A week I could do pretty easily, but two weeks is hard when I need to be back to Portland in October. There is still a chance I might just fly in for a long weekend and leave my rv on the east coast. But then what to do with Charlie and where to stay while I’m in Oregon. I’ll figure it out because I am intelligent and competent -- when I’m not too busy freaking myself out!

TravelinLady

A Giant Leap Forward But Only God Knows to Where

Portland, OR, Aug. 2 -- Tomorrow I really leave. I have had the usual busy time in Portland. I saw lots of friends and it was wonderful seeing them and catching up with all their news and comings and goings. In fact, I stayed an extra day because I needed to finish up lots of little things. As the time has finally come for me to leave for an extended period of time -- at least two months -- and no sure knowledge of when I'll be back or for how long -- I find myself getting very anxious. I was in Europe for almost 6 weeks in 2005 but I had my home and connections and wasn't really leaving. This time, even though I'm not going as far, I am leaving. I expect to be back; but I am not certain that I will. It is a very unsettling feeling.

I have plans for tomorrow night -- an rv park near Spokane. After that, until I get to Minnesota, I have no reservations, no specific destinations. While that seems like it should be freeing, it's actually quite frightening. In fact, the more I think about all this, the more I wonder what the hell I am doing. I've decidd to bypass So. Dakota this trip because it's Harley days in Sturgis and there are no rv park sites available. So I will just get on 94 and stay on 94 until I reach the Minneapolis area. This will be, by far, the farthest I've ever driven. I've had some warmups with my trips to Montana and California but this is about 2,000 miles.

So as I prepare for this part of my journey, and whatever comes after Minnesota, I find myself feeling intimidated, nervous, very disconcerted and way, way out of my element. And wondering what will become of me, what I will learn, what I will discover about myself and whether I will have any better ideas about what happens in the next phase of my life.

I am leaving security, my known world, all behind. When I first set out on this adventure, it seemed like it might be fun, a bit challenging, but now that the time is so close, it seems overhwelming. But I will take it one day at a time, as we all must do when we face life's difficultiies. I will get through Friday. And then Saturday. And then before I know it I will be in Minnesota. And then before I know it I"ll be in Maine or somewhwere thereabouts. And maybe eventually I'll make it down the East Coast and land in Florida. I just have to focus on one day at a time. And ask for prayers from all my friends that nothing incredibly bad happens. And if it does, I'll have to deal with that one day at a time, too.

I don't know when I'll have wifi again. That's one of the interesting challenges. Or whether my cell will have service. But I will try to keep posting to my blog whenever I can. I'll try to focus on neat things and skip over some of the more difficult parts as I find them. So, onward and upward.
TravelinLady