Beautiful Spring: A Sign of Hope?

Wow! I am completely overwhelmed at the beauty that waits around every corner these days! On several of our walks through the neighborhood this week, Charlie and I (well, maybe not so much Charlie!) have seen the most gorgeous roses I ever remember seeing. The flowers are massive and the bushes are so heavy with blossoms the branches are bending under their weight. They all look like weeping roses. The colors are vibrant. Irises, too, are in full bloom with a wild and beautiful array of colors from all shades of purple and lavender to white, yellows, bronzes. Later I will go out and take some photos as an example but photos fail utterly when trying to convey the incredible show found in the reality of nature.

I wonder as I wander and gaze in awe how much this floral abundance is related to the unusually harsh winter we had. More snow than I ever remember falling here in the 30-plus years since I've lived in the area. And very cold temperatures for weeks at a time. (Cold, of course, is relative; in Portland that means below freezing, not below zero.) Of course, the beautiful display could also have something to do with the unusually beautiful May we're having. Days of fair weather, one after the other, is incredibly rare in the spring and we're working on well over a week, with more to come. Undoubtedly we will pay for this beauty later with water shortages but for now it's an incomparable and very timely gift.

This winter, when we were battling more than a foot of snow, below freezing temperatures and icy, treacherous roads, all we could dream about and hope for was spring. It has come roaring in with so much enthusiasm and joy that it makes our hearts sing in gladness and thanksgiving. People seem so much friendlier, happier, when the sun is out, the flowers are all in bloom, and the temperatures are in the 70s and 80s.

This makes me think of what’s happening in people’s lives right now with the economic challenges. I have a friend who has been out of work for more than a year and is about to lose his house to foreclosure. He sells his furniture when he needs money for food or to keep the electricity turned on for another month. It is taking a huge toll on him and he is clearly struggling with depression and despair. I pray for his turnaround and for the rescue of all who are struggling and fearful in these challenging times.

I trust that this current economy is but a bad winter storm and very soon the sun will return to warm the earth and our hearts. I think that is what this amazing spring is telling us. “Just wait till you see the marvelous things in store once the economy turns around again and people find their hope and joy restored.” I trust that there will again be abundance and beauty for all, that we will learn important lessons, that we will understand that greed created this tailspin in the first place and learn to live with “Enough” and be thankful for it; I pray we can just say no to “Too Much” and “Even More.” My hope is that we can better learn to share with others, better learn to live in the abundance we already have, like the beauty of spring, the laughter of friends, good health, or the first steps of a grandchild.

Wednesday in the Park

Charlie and I just got back from wandering the various trails, pathways and roads in Mt. Tabor Park in Southeast Portland. I have a long-standing love of this park. When John and I first moved to Portland, he worked at the City Parks shops on the south side. We lived within a stone's throw of the park for a bit over a year and then, after one very harsh winter there, moved to the west side of the butte and park where we lived for 11 years.

I remember wandering the park before my kids were born, with John and Hawkeye, the German Shepherd we had for several years. He loved to chase the squirrels there. Some things never change. We took our kids there often to play on the equipment and just for walks.
The park has changed a lot over those 30-plus years. Numerous trails have been developed and, of course, there are also plenty of psuedo-trails that can often be dangerous. It's not always easy to tell the developed official trails from the impromptu trails.

Between the trails and the roads, which are closed on Wednesdays, it's easy to find your way up to the top of Mt. Tabor where the views are remarkable. From one point you look west into the beautiful downtown area, gazing over the homes and schools and other parks -- all the green -- that lie between Mt. Tabor and the Willamette River. Then your eyes settle on the West Hills that form a beautiful backdrop and help frame downtown Portland. From the other side of the crest of the butte you look east at Mt. Hood with miles upon miles of hills and mountains and valleys marching up to the Cascades. Both views are absolutely glorious when the sun is out and the clouds have lifted.

Even though it's several miles from home, Mt. Tabor has become Charlie's and my destination of choice for sunny day walks when we have a couple hours to spare. Because of the hills and stairs, we can get a really good workout if we want. Or we can just wander down the paths, admiring the Johnny Jump-ups (little yellow violets), rhododendrons, the multiple shades of green from the newly opened maple leaves to the deep dark firs. In areas where the grass is mown, it is often dotted with miniature daisy-like flowers. It is truly a feast for the eyes.

Today we watched a robin chasing a red-headed finch. Tiny little birds -- kinglets perhaps, or siskins? -- flitted among the flowers of a hawthorn bush. Birdsong is everywhere, floating through the trees and brush.

As the sun filters down though the big-leaf maples, casting clear yellow pools on the trail, you get the sense you are far away from a large city. Until you round a bend of the trail and childish laughter echoes from the playground. Parents jogging behind strollers are as common as people walking their dogs or just out for a stroll, bike ride or run.

That's another good thing about walking in this park. If I had someone to walk with, I would go to Powell Butte. But that is more remote, some of the trails less traveled. John and I and the kids having lived there as the caretakers of Powell Butte Park for several years, I know what kind of elements have been present there, at least in the past. Although I knew those trails like the palm of my hand at one time, it doesn't feel quite as safe to be there alone. Nor does the Springwater Corridor trail with transient camps scattered on the edges among the blackberries. So Mt. Tabor remains my dog-walking park of choice when the weather is cooperative.

On Friday I head south to visit my sister, Colleen, in Northern California. On the way I'll stop in Medford and pick up my younger sister, Shirley. We'll head down to Potter Valley for a good sister visit. Coincidentally, there is a rodeo going on in Potter Valley that week, with lots of activities, so we shouldn't get bored. Not that these three sisters couldn't scare up some fun just about anywhere and under any circumstances!

Happy Mother's Day From a Fulfilled Mom

It is Mother’s Day, and it’s another holiday I’ll be spending alone. But instead of feeling sorry for myself as I often do on holidays, today I choose to celebrate. I did not have children so that one day they would grow up and give me gifts or send me cards or flowers. I had children because John and I wanted to share our life and love in a tangible ongoing way. We wanted the joy of seeing our coupleness, our love, grow into a family and children whom we could nurture and teach and love. I have never for even a second regretting having children.

The fact that my children are with their own loved ones today testifies that they are fulfilled and happy adults. What mother could ask for a better gift?

I know they love me. My daughter just spent a good deal of money and time to fly with her husband to Hawaii to spend a week with me there so I wouldn’t have to be alone. Even though I don’t get to see her as often as I’d like -- since she is four hours away -- when we are able to spend time together it is positive and loving. But I know she has a full life with her husband.

My son, though closer in distance, has a hectic life with four boys. His wife chooses to spend all holidays with her family. She’s been doing it for more than 35 years; why change just because you marry and add a mother-in-law? He doesn’t really seem to have much input in those choices; often I think his life is run for him. In a way that saves him from having to make decisions. Though I know he doesn’t always agree with decisions that are made for him, I would rather be alone on holidays than have him get into a fight with his wife about me visiting them (them visiting me isn’t even on the table). When we do talk on the phone or on the occasions I am able to visit, he is warm and loving. And then there is my grandson, Jesse. I would love to see him more often -- and that is one of the hardest things -- but it is challenging to find times when their schedules and mine match up.

No, I don’t need a special day for my children to show or tell me they love me. I don’t need gifts to know they love me. I know in my heart they do. It’s the artificial building up of expectations, the commercialization that tells children they must spend money on this or that, that tells mothers they deserve certain treatment or the love is in question that sets us up for disappointment and frustration. I refuse to buy into that.

Finally, I don’t need flowers or candy or jewelry or brunches or cards or anything else to let me know I am a good mother and a worthy person. I know I am both. I know I raised two wonderful, loving children and that is enough. I have no interest in comparing them with other peoples' children. Life and motherhood are not a contest. I already know I’m a winner.

And, of course, Charlie is always there to remind me how loved I am.